“There are many tears in a man’s heart that never reach his eyes.”
You’re totally right. I posted it while I was still pretty groggy this morning and immediately regretted doing so. I’ve kept my mouth shut for the most part for the past two and a half years, and then BAM! One slip up when you’re half asleep, and it’ll be nothing but regret the rest of the day. Pity you can’t delete stuff on Fark. Funny part is I really do wish them both them best and a happy life together. God knows I wouldn’t touch her after she climbed into bed with my best friend, and wouldn’t want to be friends with him again after he pulled that nonsense for the second time (arguably the third time)… but still. Poor form on my part. Seriously poor form. Let that be a lesson to all you farkers out there - don’t fark when half awake. And incase you haven’t learned the lesson already, don’t drink & fark, nor drink & facebook. Never a good combination, as much as we joke about the drinking culture on here. And sure as hell never post anything about your personal life on Fark, nor about other people. No matter the things he did to me, or his complete lack of empathy for the pain he caused me by violating my trust in a matter of the heart yet again, posting a statement of his sins on Fark (even that very abbreviated and incomplete version) was way below my typical standards of personal conduct… but Fark being what Fark is, when we slip up, there is no undoing it.Now, to answer all the other responses to my post, I’ll just summarize my responses as follows:
To those who expressed empathy or their condolences, your words are much appreciated. It’s nice to know I’m not the only person out there who has had a close friend do things like that to them.
To those who called it a “competition” and called me out on not moving in on her sooner, I should explain that I adhere to a very high moral code when it comes to some things, and I would never covet another man’s woman, even if she once was mine, regardless of whether I wanted to have her in my life again someday… so I was going to wait until she and her boyfriend had fully broken up. Unfortunately for me at the time, he didn’t abide by such a code, and so he was easily able to beat me to the punch. Granted, the fact that I was so head over heels that I couldn’t get out a coherent sentence around her (and when I did it was usually something stupid) didn’t help. Especially when I was ‘competing’ with him, as he can be a pretty smooth operator when he wants to be. It’s one of the things he does best, and a skill I honestly wish I had. But long story short, I just didn’t expect my best friend to do something like that to me again. In the end - you’re probably right… had I thought about his conduct in the past, both with respect to me and with respect to other girls, I probably would have reconsidered that trust… but that said, I’d rather trust my closest friends and be hurt when they break that trust than not trust them at all.
To those of you who defended his actions, I’d argue that its people like you who condone such things, who defend such actions, or even go so far as to advocate them, that make this world a far less pleasant place. If you think screwing over your friends time and time again is acceptable… or that all is fair in love and war (even amongst friends)… or whatever rational you want to put to it… you probably don’t have many real friends and probably need professional help. Just stating.
To those who said I should kick him square in his ass for what he did, I appreciate your empathy with my feelings, but I don’t believe in violence. That said, the thought is still appreciated, and I must confess that at the time, I came very, very close to doing so. If anything, going through the experience taught me an important lesson in that I learned how overwhelming the desire to use violence can be. I mean, I’m a friggin’ goodie-two-shoes Eagle Scout who knows the law through and through, and even I came disturbingly close to showing both him and his car the finer points of how to use a baseball bat. And considering that all it took was something like that to push me to the edge of violence, I gotta say - I now understand why we have the endless wars and violence around the world. As much as we try to legislate it away, when someone hurts you or the ones you love, our laws don’t play into the human decision making process as much as we might hope they would. Within the mind, violence can be rationalized as a means to justice, as a defense against future harm, and simply the other person’s karma coming back to haunt them. That’s not to say we shouldn’t have the laws that we do. They still serve a purpose. I’m just saying, now I understand how easy it is for human beings to feel the emotional need to violate such laws even when they know the consequences of doing so. It’s certainly been an educational experience.
To ye who suggested he might have “legitimate, affectionate feelings for these women” — you might be right about the current girl. I’d certainly like to think so for her sake, especially since they’re now engaged to be married, as I really don’t want to see her get hurt. But when he pulled the stunt with the first girl, he told me enough stuff behind closed doors that I’m fairly certain he was just using her for an easy booty call whenever he damn well felt like it, as opposed to treating her the way a girl like that deserved to be treated… which was one of the major reasons I was so destroyed when he went after the current girl. But no matter.
And to ye who said “get over it” — I have for the most part. Granted, what he did destroyed me in a way that nothing else ever has - it destroyed my ability to trust people, and destroyed my belief in the notion of true love… but I’ve moved on and recovered. In fact, I’ve barely thought about either or them for the past few months, which has been nice… I’ve dated other girls, one of whom was awesome beyond description… I’ve secured myself a better best friend who would never do such things… and I’ve been happy and able trust people again for the first time in a couple years. I honestly have no idea where this morning’s post came from. Talk about an emotional scar from the past coming out of nowhere. I mean, I was the one who wrote it and even I was taken off guard by it and couldn’t believe I had typed it in, much less hit the “Add Comment” button. I think it was really just a case of being confused at subby’s odd idea of what constituted the “biggest douchebag on the blanet,” and just though I’d offer an example of what a real douchebag is. That said, I really hope he’s a better, kinder, more trustworthy, and less douchey person today than he was a few years back. Because once upon a time he was a really cool guy, a good friend, and in general a pretty awesome person… at least, back before he became obsessed with overpriced clothing, gossip, drama, and doing anything necessary to date the hottest chick he possibly could, including stabbing his closest friend in the back and then rubbing it in his face. But at time, his girlfriend had just dumped him, I suspect he was lonely, and frankly, she is quite a catch, so I can’t say I don’t at least partially understand his actions. Back to my point, the dancing dude didn’t appear to be a douchebag, but rather, a pathetic drunken redneck or guido. At the end of the day, this really was about the dancing dude not really qualifying as a “douchebag” (at least, not in the video), as opposed to my once-good-friend becoming one.
All that said, I really do regret making the posting. Please, my fellow farkers, don’t make the same mistake as I did.
Now, can we please change the topic back to why
 |
Denis Kovalchuk |
submitted this video which was an obvious waste of everyone’s time and wasn’t farkworthy at all, not to mention why the Admins approved it? Booooo!
